This from the website Tango Embrace

On Leading and Following

Both leaders and followers lead and follow. They listen to the train of thought of the other and become good at counterpoint and responsiveness.

A sensitive follower can influence the dance with her quality of movement as well as her musical annotations in embellishment and gesture. Leading is not only initiating the movement but also following the follower’s reception of it through. You are following her following you.

This is how the dance feels connected. The most important thing is the interplay between initiative and a bit of surrender to the music and to your partner. You develop a common will.