Di Kidd sent this to me today – her reflection on Thursday night’s workshop. Thanks Di.

“It was with a true spirit of adventure that a group of women recently assembled for Siempre Tango’s first ever Leading Ladies workshop taken by instructor Megan Jones, with assistance from two gracious helpers, Tiziana and Imogen.

I think the idea of the workshop arose in response to the perennial question – what do we do about the gender imbalance, and how can we deal with situations where there are more females than males? I know Siempre Tango is committed to exploring a multitude of approaches to this issue, but this workshop was just one instance of giving a new and interesting idea a go. I guess that by learning the male leads, we women could be equipped with the skills of the male role, and maybe by partnering each other at practicas – and even at milongas – we could be more active participants, and not so dependent on male numbers.

Without a doubt, the Leading Ladies workshop was a real eye-opener – but in some surprising and unexpected ways that may have longer term benefits for the male dancers after all.

At the beginning, we were all confronted by the close embrace with other females. Probably as women, we are more used to this physicality with each other. Certainly for those with ballroom experience like me, we are very used to dancing with female instructors. So in no time, we were at ease with each other, and down to the business of learning to lead.

In our heads of course, we had to “unlearn” the female part, but we set about practising some of the basic steps in pairs, then changing roles to give the other one a go as the leader. Amid lots of laughs, much concentration, many grimaces, and a touch of overload, we worked through the right base, the left base, backward ocho, forward ocho, plus the little rocking step. Well….sort of….

At first, just to work out where to change feet, and which foot goes next, and “where the hell am I in this step” was a huge challenge. So now we ALL know exactly what it’s like to grind to a halt suddenly in the middle of the floor, with a total mental blank, having lost the plot completely! The words “I’ve lost it, let’s start again” were heard echoing many times in the hall at Eastwood that night.

And then, while attempting to connect a few basic moves together, trying to navigate around the floor was sheer murder! Everyone else just gets in the way! That stopped most of us in our tracks many a time. To add further stress, when you can’t go anywhere because you’re blocked in on all sides, your mind goes blank yet again, so the only way out is to give up & drag your partner out of the jam and over to the corner space for a fresh start.

The embrace. The frame. The arm. That was where my own personal lightbulb moment took place. How many times have ALL the male instructors given my right arm a shake and said “Relax, your arm’s too stiff.” Sure . Sure. Well, being aware of it, and truly knowing it are two different things. Being on the other side, and having to dance with women who have too firm an arm, is really hard work. You feel pressure all the time and your left arm gets really really tired because you’re constantly having to push against this resistant force.

Following. That was the other huge learning experience. It’s incredibly frustrating to have the woman anticipating your lead!!! Guilty as charged!!

The workshop finished with a huge impromptu round of applause for Megan, sharing her knowledge with our group of pioneering women about the other side of tango.

We learned much more than just the steps. We learned some humility, and a deep understanding of just how hard it is for the males to lead. Hopefully, we will all be better, more compassionate dancers because of it.

And guys, don’t feel threatened if you see lots of females dancing with each other at practicas from now on!! Please don’t worry if you have to wait your turn to dance with us because we are dancing and learning with each other!! It’s the ultimate role reversal. By learning to lead, we are also learning how to follow.”

Written by Di Kidd